Bordrlands/La Frontera

In my English class we are currently reading Borderlands/La Frontera. This novel is written by Gloria Anzaldua; a Chicana, lesbian, activist who writes about her life and the culture she is beginning to adopt. Chapter four begins with Gloria explaining how she discovers that she is different from everyone else. She explains how through her parents she could tell that she was different from her brothers and sisters. She says that, “by the worried look on my parents’ faces I learned early that something was fundamentally wrong with me” (Anzaldua 64). She felt betrayed by her own body and was filled with shame for feeling and being different from all those that surrounded her. Many people would take the rejection and neglection that Gloria dealt with and fall apart, but Gloria decided to turn her difference into something that could help others. “Our greatest disappointments and painful experiences – if we make meaning out of them – can lead us toward becoming more of who we are. Or they can remain meaningless” (Anzaldua 68). In her novel Gloria stressed that in order to help change the world you must first change yourself. You must be comfortable with who you are in order to get people to listen to what you have to say. As an activist, Gloria brings great insight into how to get people to care about your thoughts and ideas. Gloria constantly put herself in new situations with different people in order to get her ideas out about race, sex and the mestiza.

An interesting theme that I found in the novel is the decision on how to balance different cultures. Gloria speaks of a “duality” that must be taken up in order to keep a healthy balance of the many cultures you may hold. For Chicanos and Mexicans in America they are constantly being told they are inadequate and pushed to drop their heritage and adopt the “American way.” This is something that was also talked about in my Race and Ethnics class. When immigration was at a peak, immigrants were forced to lose their culture from their homeland and adopt the American/white culture in order to survive in America. In schools white teachers tell Spanish-speaking students that, “If you want to be American, speak ‘American.’ If you don’t like it, go back to Mexico where you belong” (Anzaldua 75). The Spanish youth are receiving mixed messages; pressure at school to learn English and pressure form home to keep their culture alive. Gloria stresses how important language is to your identity and who you are. She says that, “if you want to really hurt me, talk badly about my language. Ethnic identity is twin skin to linguistic identity – I am my language. Until I take pride in my language, I cannot take pride in myself” (Anzaldua 81). I find this especially true to my family and myself. We are 2nd generation Mexican and none of my cousins can speak Spanish. I feel this has helped in us have becoming disconnected from our culture; we have adopted English in order to conform to the white way in America. In a way I feel I do not belong to any culture because I do not fully fit with either. Through her novel I feel Gloria is trying to show the importance in understanding who you are in order to stay true to who you are. “Identity is the essential core of who we are as individuals, the conscious experience of the self” (Kaufman 84).

From A Broken Bottle Traces Of Perfume Still Emanate

We have begun reading From A Broken Bottle Traces Of Perfume Still Emanate in my English class. This book is a compilation of letters from a man N to a mysterious “Angel of Dust”. This book seems to be about a musician very passionate about his band and the art they create. N was “struck by and basically agreed with his idea that music is the art of outrageous talk” (Mackey 80). I found this quote to be very ironic because I feel this whole book is about “outrageous talk”. The author seems to be infatuated with the music he creates and writes letter after letter to “Angel of Dust” describing the ins and outs to every lyric and their meanings. Although we do not get to read her responses, she seems to give honest feedback and listens to the tapes he sends her.

After a lesson we had in class I began thinking about the title of the novel and what it might be foreshadowing throughout the novel. After much thought, I have come to the conclusion that this novel is about someone the author has lost yet still has so many reminders about. When a bottle of perfume breaks you can still smell the scent of the perfume that once was encased on the broken pieces. I think this is symbolism for the memories that N still has for the “Angel of Dust”. I believe N writes these letters to the “Angel” as a way to keep her memory alive and help ease the pain of her loss. I have come to this conclusion due to a lot of textual evidence.

N has mentioned “phantom limbs” many times throughout the text. He describes how you can still feel the sensation of the limb yet it is missing. I believe this to be evidence showing how even when you lose something, at times you still feel like it is there. He also describes dreams in which he thinks he is there yet no one else recognizes him. This reminds me of all the dreams that I have personally had where I feel lost. This novel talks so much about loss, that I am very interested in seeing if my prediction is true. I would also like to see why art and music are such big influences in N’s life and who the angel of dust really is.

Dictee

I have currently begun to read the novel Dictee by Theresa Hak Kyung Cha. As I began to read I began to realize that the novel might be as sad as the death of the author herself. The novel begins with a descriptive passage of a girl fighting to speak but coming short of words. She longs to speak yet “inside is the pain of speech the pain to say. Larger still. Greater is the pain not to say.” (Cha 3) This opening begs the question will this novel be about oppression and silence? Who is trying to speak and what is she trying to say?

As the novel progresses, we are introduced to Yu Guan Soon a Korean activist with the aim of reclaiming the rights of the Koreans. Despite the critiques that Guan Soon is a woman and too young to actually make a difference, she forms an activist group to speak out against Japanese aggression. “She is appointed messenger and she travels on foot to 40 towns, organizing the nation’s mass demonstration to be held on March 1, 1919.” (Cha 30) Guan Soon can be credited with organizing the largest rally against the Japanese occupation in Korea. As the only daughter, she proves not only to her family but to her nation that she can help make a difference in the fight against the Japanese occupation.

The description used to portray the Japanese as the enemy really allows the reader to feel the pain the Koreans must have felt towards the Japanese. The nation of Korea graciously allowed Japan to move troops in to set up military camps against Russia. No sooner, Japan began to take over every aspect of Korean life. They meddled in the government, broke promises to help establish Korea and even assassinated Korea’s Queen Min. Broken and lied to, Koreans like Guan began to fight back and Japan quickly became their enemy. “Japan has become the sign…To this enemy people.” (Cha 32)

So far this novel seems to be about women struggling to survive through hard times. Although this novel proves to be difficult to read, I think it will end with a good message and I am anxious to read on.

Song of Solomon 12-15

The last three chapters of the Song of Solomon really brought the book together for me. Throughout the whole story I found myself wishing that Milkman would have an epiphany and care about something, anything, in his life. On his trip to find gold Milkman ended up finding a lot more, himself.
“Milkman slipped into Sweet’s bed and slept the night in her perfect arms. It was a warm dreamy sleep all about flying, about sailing high over the earth.” (Morrison 298) I feel that Milkman’s dream about flying was another use of symbolism by Toni Morrison. Throughout the story flying has been used as a sense of freedom and an escape from the life you are currently living. Ever since Milkman was young and realized that he couldn’t fly he had felt trapped and purposeless in life. He went through life only caring about himself and never once tried to help those around him. I believe that this dream of flying finally set him free and gave him a reason to care about his loved ones.
When he awoke from his dream, “he was homesick for [Pilate], for her house, for the very people he had been hell-bent to leave. His mothers quiet, crooked, apologetic smile.” (Morrison 300) Milkman finally experiences his epiphany when he is reflecting on his life and all useless hate he had for so many people. He finally begins to realize why his parents have acted the way they have and he begins to forge a newfound respect for them. Milkman fills with shame when begins thinking about the destruction he has caused to Pilate and Hagar. So many questions arose in his mind, “How could he have broken into that house...? Why did he never sit [Hagar] down and talk to her?” (Morrison 301)
It took until the end of the story but Milkman finally realized the harm he had caused to all the people that cared so deeply for him. Learning the profound history his ancestors carried brought new meaning to Milkman’s life and gave him reason to change. A whole new Milkman is revealed in the final chapter, a Milkman who cares about others and enjoys making others happy. “He was so eager for the sight of Pilate’s face when he told her what he knew, he decided to see her first….Milkman opened his arms wide so he could hold all of her in a warm embrace” (Morrison 331) This new Milkman is the man I had been waiting to read about throughout the whole story. Morrison did a great job of showing the transformation Milkman made from the beginning to the end of the story.

Song of Solomon

“She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it’s there, because it cant hurt, and because what difference does it make?” (Morrison 91). This quote summarizes not only Milkman’s feelings toward Hagar, but also life and people in general. The first three chapters of Song of Solomon hint at Milkman’s attitude of entitlement and as you continue to read you are given many examples to prove this. We can begin with Milkman’s so called love for Hagar; “from the time he first saw her, when he was twelve and she was seventeen, he was deeply in love with her, alternately awkward and witty in her presence” (Morrison 92). This love at first sight turns out only to be a chase for Milkman, and once obtained he doesn’t even give her the respect to end it in person. He even has the nerve to tease her about her dream of a Prince Charming sweeping her off of her feet and into Happily Ever After.
Milkman’s feelings of self-entitlement become very evident when he is talking to Guitar about the recent killings in town. Guitar tries to avoid talking to Milkman about the murders because he feels Milkman is uninterested and he doesn’t want to cause trouble in their friendship. Milkman feels he is being put out and that Guitar doesn’t truly know him and what he is interested in. “I know you. Been knowing you. You got your high-tone friends and your picnics on Honore Island and you can afford to spend fifty percent of your brainpower thinking about a piece of ass. You got that red-headed bitch and you got a Southside bitch and no telling what in between” (Morrison). Because Milkman was born into money, a nice house and privilege he has been conditioned to believe that he can get whatever he wants. Guitar was not born with the opportunities that Milkman has and it is hard for Milkman to understand that not everyone has the advantages like he does. Born in Montgomery Alabama, Guitar understands the limits he has due to the color of his skin, whereas Milkman feels the need to push the limits.
Problems of black and white were no main concern for Milkman, in fact problems in general where of no concern to him. “His life was pointless, aimless, and it was true that he didn’t concern himself an awful lot about other people. There was nothing he wanted bad enough to risk anything for, inconvenience himself for” (Morrison 107). With no purpose in life or care, nobody could take Milkman serious or trust him with the problems that they experienced. When Freddie tries to have a serous conversation with Milkman, he throws it in his face and laughs at him. Milkman feels he is above his community and their petty concerns with race. He wonders why they spend so much time troubled over societies ills and why they blame it on their race.
Milkman cannot even take his own death seriously. With Hagar out for vengeance, “Milkman lay quietly in the sunlight, his mind blank…in that mood of lazy righteousness he wallowed in Guitar’s bed” (Morrison). Maybe its immaturity or how he was raised, but the novels leads readers to believe that Milkman is very self-involved and somewhat conceited. I hope the rest of the story will reveal a different, more concerned Milkman.

The Three Heartbreaks of Belicia Cabral

The title to the third chapter very accurately describes the text you are about to read. “The Three Heartbreaks of Belicia Cabral.” (Pg. 77) Upon reading this chapter your mind can only be filled with terrible thoughts of the unfortunate and under-qualified parenting and person that Belicia Cabral is. Although, after reading the over-hopeful love, struggle and broken dreams Belicia has endured one can only feel sadness and pity for this woman who was once so full of dreams.
Born in Bani, Belicia Cabral was raised by La Inca who could otherwise be known as her savior. Before La Inca took Belicia into her care, “our orphaned girl had lived with another foster family, monstrous people if the rumors are to be believed, a dark period of her life.” (Pg 78) Ever since an early age Belicia always had aspirations for a different life, she could never find herself happy with La Inca; always dreaming of a rich husband and children to satisfy her. Living in the Dominican Republic under the rule of the man accused of having a hand in killing her parents, Belicia wanted to escape “but where she wanted to escape to she could not tell you.” (Pg. 80)
Belicia met her first love in her early teen years at the El Redentor. “Jack Pujols of course; the school’s handsomest boy, a haughty slender melniboien of pure European stock.” (Pg. 89) At thirteen the only boy Belicia ever dreamt of being with was Jack, but it was until Belicia grew into the beautiful women she was destined to be did Jack even glance at her. Before you knew it Belicia lost her virginity and the great rebellion against La Inca began. “I will not serve. Never again would she follow any lead other than her own. Not the rector’s, not the nun’s, not La Inca’s, not her poor dead parents’. Only me she whispered.” (Pg. 103) Jack eventually moved on and the first heartbreak was felt with full force, taking her much time to get over.
“There it was the Decision That Changed Everything.” (Pg. 113) What was this decision you ask? His name was the Gangster and he brought the fuku over Belicia’s life. Belicia fell hard for the Gangster and soon all she could think about and want was him. La Inca disapproved of their visits to the love hotel, and we would soon find out for a good reason. The Gangster spoiled Belicia giving her dreams of a better life and the escape from Bani and all her terrible past. “He made her feel guapa and wanted and safe, and no one had ever done that for her.” (Pg. 127) Too bad this was only a lie, what he really gave her was trouble and a beating that almost sent her to an early grave. The Gangster failed to mention he was married, married to Trujillo’s sister, and Belicias pregnancy did not sit well with her. Belicia then found her life in risk, receiving a beating warning her to stay away from the Gangster forever. “It was the sort of beating that breaks people, breaks them utterly.” (Pg. 147)
With Trujillo’s people after Belicia, La Inca encouraged her to move to America saving her from the danger of the Dominican Republic. She boarded a plane still hoping the Gangster would come and save her, still with dreams of the life she hoped to one day live. What she didn’t know was “that the man next to her would end up being her husband and the father of her two children, that after two years together he would leave her, her third and final heartbreak, and she will never love again.” (Pg., 164)

Oscar 1

The footnotes in the first pages of The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao serve several different functions. Footnotes are extra pieces of information that help aid the story by giving a larger insight into the history behind what the narrator is explaining in the story. Footnotes allow the author to give extra information to the reader without interrupting the story they are trying to tell. For example, the first footnote in the novel gives a brief history of the Dictator Trujillo Molina. The footnote explains his reign over the Dominican Republic and the advantages he took over the citizens of his country. This footnote helped you grasp the personality of Trujillo, which ultimately gives you better insight into how the fuku and him have a relationship that Dominicans have grown to fear. The second footnote gives you evidence to back up the story that John F. Kennedy and his family where cursed due to the fuku of helping assassinate Trujillo. The story tells of the Piper Saratoga going down with John Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette aboard the same night that Dominican food is being cooked up for Johns father. The final footnote of this section explains Morgoth’s bane, it explains how a curse can be passed down to all those you love and how it will not go away until it gets the person it seeks. The footnotes tells a story of doom following the cursed and not relenting until their life is full of darkness and hopelessness.

The author includes footnotes into a story for a couple of reasons; they include them to help give extra information about the story and to help in keeping the story flowing without interruption. The author of The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao may have possibly included the footnotes as a kind of zafa, or counterspell to all of the fuku he was writing about in his story. If the author believes that what he is writing is fuku and will curse him then he might have wanted to include more background information in a way to clear the fuku and warn the reader. The other possible reason for the footnotes could just be to simply aid the reader by giving more information and insight about the story.