Bordrlands/La Frontera

In my English class we are currently reading Borderlands/La Frontera. This novel is written by Gloria Anzaldua; a Chicana, lesbian, activist who writes about her life and the culture she is beginning to adopt. Chapter four begins with Gloria explaining how she discovers that she is different from everyone else. She explains how through her parents she could tell that she was different from her brothers and sisters. She says that, “by the worried look on my parents’ faces I learned early that something was fundamentally wrong with me” (Anzaldua 64). She felt betrayed by her own body and was filled with shame for feeling and being different from all those that surrounded her. Many people would take the rejection and neglection that Gloria dealt with and fall apart, but Gloria decided to turn her difference into something that could help others. “Our greatest disappointments and painful experiences – if we make meaning out of them – can lead us toward becoming more of who we are. Or they can remain meaningless” (Anzaldua 68). In her novel Gloria stressed that in order to help change the world you must first change yourself. You must be comfortable with who you are in order to get people to listen to what you have to say. As an activist, Gloria brings great insight into how to get people to care about your thoughts and ideas. Gloria constantly put herself in new situations with different people in order to get her ideas out about race, sex and the mestiza.

An interesting theme that I found in the novel is the decision on how to balance different cultures. Gloria speaks of a “duality” that must be taken up in order to keep a healthy balance of the many cultures you may hold. For Chicanos and Mexicans in America they are constantly being told they are inadequate and pushed to drop their heritage and adopt the “American way.” This is something that was also talked about in my Race and Ethnics class. When immigration was at a peak, immigrants were forced to lose their culture from their homeland and adopt the American/white culture in order to survive in America. In schools white teachers tell Spanish-speaking students that, “If you want to be American, speak ‘American.’ If you don’t like it, go back to Mexico where you belong” (Anzaldua 75). The Spanish youth are receiving mixed messages; pressure at school to learn English and pressure form home to keep their culture alive. Gloria stresses how important language is to your identity and who you are. She says that, “if you want to really hurt me, talk badly about my language. Ethnic identity is twin skin to linguistic identity – I am my language. Until I take pride in my language, I cannot take pride in myself” (Anzaldua 81). I find this especially true to my family and myself. We are 2nd generation Mexican and none of my cousins can speak Spanish. I feel this has helped in us have becoming disconnected from our culture; we have adopted English in order to conform to the white way in America. In a way I feel I do not belong to any culture because I do not fully fit with either. Through her novel I feel Gloria is trying to show the importance in understanding who you are in order to stay true to who you are. “Identity is the essential core of who we are as individuals, the conscious experience of the self” (Kaufman 84).

From A Broken Bottle Traces Of Perfume Still Emanate

We have begun reading From A Broken Bottle Traces Of Perfume Still Emanate in my English class. This book is a compilation of letters from a man N to a mysterious “Angel of Dust”. This book seems to be about a musician very passionate about his band and the art they create. N was “struck by and basically agreed with his idea that music is the art of outrageous talk” (Mackey 80). I found this quote to be very ironic because I feel this whole book is about “outrageous talk”. The author seems to be infatuated with the music he creates and writes letter after letter to “Angel of Dust” describing the ins and outs to every lyric and their meanings. Although we do not get to read her responses, she seems to give honest feedback and listens to the tapes he sends her.

After a lesson we had in class I began thinking about the title of the novel and what it might be foreshadowing throughout the novel. After much thought, I have come to the conclusion that this novel is about someone the author has lost yet still has so many reminders about. When a bottle of perfume breaks you can still smell the scent of the perfume that once was encased on the broken pieces. I think this is symbolism for the memories that N still has for the “Angel of Dust”. I believe N writes these letters to the “Angel” as a way to keep her memory alive and help ease the pain of her loss. I have come to this conclusion due to a lot of textual evidence.

N has mentioned “phantom limbs” many times throughout the text. He describes how you can still feel the sensation of the limb yet it is missing. I believe this to be evidence showing how even when you lose something, at times you still feel like it is there. He also describes dreams in which he thinks he is there yet no one else recognizes him. This reminds me of all the dreams that I have personally had where I feel lost. This novel talks so much about loss, that I am very interested in seeing if my prediction is true. I would also like to see why art and music are such big influences in N’s life and who the angel of dust really is.